on the tip of my tongue

we’re all searching
for something 
yet to be named
yet to be penciled in our journals and on our bodies
with our hands
we search
in good times, sure
but mostly when hell breaks loose
in our countries and in our homes and in our minds
what we’re searching for
who knows
i heard a mother say peace and enough food to feed grief or at least enough to last until the 1st
and a father say peace and enough smoke to feed grief or at least keep rage from killing today
and their child…well 
the the child is dead
drowned five midnights ago by her own Black body or perhaps because of it
who knows
but if she were alive, I imagine her saying
air
air enough to breathe new life into dying things or at least enough to name the thing on the tip of my tongue

haiku and high praise for the bees outside my window

1.
we should be like bees
flying because we want to
forgetting our form

2.
the bees go to work
touching everything around
new life at their feet

3.
heavy bodies but
they can fly and that’s all that
has ever mattered

4.
the impossible
made possible for those who
can fly but won’t try

5.
when death comes i pray
i’ve finished my work and loved
the sting out of life

a new beginning, a new earth

everything out                 there
i can feel right here
inside my chest
which has always been 
a kind of holy terrarium of
dirt and divine things that breathe
like  out                  there
was except now it’s dry 
and echos bounce off shatter proof glass
whole patches of me windswept 
and tired
and then someone says
HERE, DRINK, LIVE!
and i gather my dry bones
and i go look 
and marvel at the mirage because
there is no water    out                  there   
and because now my hopes and prayers
have no safe land to seed
i breathe 
inside my chest
a new beginning, a new earth

air rise now

you don’t realize how important it is
until you are gasping for it
hot and dizzy and grabbing at it
not being able to speak to it 
but knowing it by name

Air!

straight out and up from sleep
brain telling body to get the fuck up
something is happening (out there)
and now it’s happening (in here)

Air!

Rise!

in me is grief and great expectation
firing on all cynlinders  
won’t wait for it
so they fight for it
hot and dizzy
they grab at it
and not being able to speak to it
they cry out

Air!

Rise!

Now!


she wants to live.

it's springtime in america

mostly everything around is alive 
and teeming with life and expectation
and offering exuberant praises of thanks
perfectly tuned to the creation frequency: love

it’s springtime in america

and some days i’m right in tune with the times
and i bet some days you’re right in tune too
deeply in love with everything that is alive
and praiseworthy and on beat

it’s springtime
but still also america

and this moment
this very moment feels and sounds off, way off
and familiar too
like skipped needle over vinyl, off
like sugar in your grits when you prefer salt, off
like calling your mother by her first name, off
like bombs dropping everywhere children are, off

like sheep being led to the slaughter
like america since the beginning

currently

distracted and disjointed and definitely not working
on the edge of my bed
also not feeling safe
on the edge of my bed
and not feeling sure
on the edge of my bed
and not feeling seen
on the edge of my bed
and not feeling heard
on the edge of my bed
and not feeling clear about anything that’s happening now
on the edge of my bed
or anywhere in the world
where the people are distracted and disjointed and definitely not working
because their people are dead or dying
and a safe room hasn’t been built

solo traveler

black sands
blue-black waters
burnt brown soles
blue shutters
white steeples
and bells
so many bells
and open doors
inviting me in
to sit and pray
for courage and safety
but mostly courage to seek 
mountains 
steep windy mountains
with no guardrails
that send me spinning
out of control
and leave me bloodied
but not too banged up
heart beating out my chest but still
alive!
hallelujah 
i’m still alive
because i just got here
and I need more sunsets